Many of us have gone through this stage and it’s not a good place to stay. Most of us lingers too much in this place and it’s holding us back to what we would want to achieve or do for ourselves or even for the day. i like writing. i like reading. but most of this, i cannot do now. i should focus myself on more important things like doing work. I’m working in the corporate world and it’s one hell of a race. everything is fast-paced. everything seems to pass you by without you noticing. i feel left out of this world. every one of us can manage to go on with the flow and live to whatever promises of the corporate world can give but for some it’s one that slaps you in the face. Realizations happen during or after such intervention: i don’t want to do this all my life or this is not the life i wanted to live. It’s getting stuck to where you are now with that kind of feeling that makes us think- where should i be now if i had done what i love or want to do. For a starter or self-proclaimed newbie in the corporate world, i don’t know where to start. i don’t know what to do. but i know for sure, where i am currently now is not the place where i belong. if i were to belong in this place, i should be loving it somehow, but not. i like research. Writing, Reading. Places. Travel. Self-discovery and share what i know to the world through my writing. I thought that i can do anything i set my heart to. but when i did that, it cannot settle for it. It loses it’s focus on where i have put it. I think i know what i want to do with the rest of my life. I’m just afraid to start. Afraid because i have the “i don’t know’s”.
There are different kinds of being stuck. and my case is being in a place i don’t see myself working for in 5 years and knowing what i love to do but knowing that i have restrictions and limitations- i cannot attempt to execute.
Last night, i had dinner with Janny. She’s one of my friends in UST and she was the president of ComAch Central who is my ex’s friend. She’s been very nice to me ever since. I really admire her and knowing that she belongs to Lance, a friend of mine and boyfriend of janny. Both are good people. i admire them because i see an ideal relationship. Topsy-turvy but they have handled their misunderstandings maturely. Going back, she treated me to dinner. because she has been promoted to senior last corporate anniversary. i thought it’ll be a short dinner. but it di’nnnnt! Haha. it lasted for quite a long time. She was been poor for quite a while. She even worked for Bodhi as a waitress. Such admiration for her, that’s why she is one of the girls that had been an eye opener for me to understand hard work. It is not innate. it is not a trait that can be passed down. it is a characteristic molded from childhood to adulthood. She even maintained her scholarship way back when. So last night, i was thinking right away that i should get out of my “being stuck” phase. I hadnt had the chance to write for the past few days. I’ve been up for days. and i couldnt allot the amount of time to do what i love. But then, even for the limited resources, this Buddhist girl taught me hard work is not you are born with, it is a habit and is being molded to be part of your system.
I pray for all those who get to the stuck situation that you may get out of there NOW! and i include myself. Amen.